Storyline Missions

Clean & Serene

Johnny: No wonder you keep getting caught then, Billy. You can't stay away from it.

BillyNow, let's be clear, I keep getting caught because assholes like you ain't watching out for me.

Johnny: Don't question me. Sometimes you gotta look out for yourself, Billy.

Billy: Okay. I'll save my questions until I see the chapter. And you better have looked after my baby.

<driving - returning to The Lost MC - B>

Billy   Had any contact with my dear old friends, the Angels of Death?

Johnny  There's a truce, Billy. You know that. A truce means no hassle,

everybody gets to do business and make money without looking over their

shoulders too much.

Billy   All the money in the world isn't worth anything if you don't have your

pride, brother.

Johnny  It's hard to be proud when you don't have a roof over your head. I can

show you the books.

Billy   Fucking books, man. Fucking books. Show me some whiskey. Show me some

hole. I've been putting up with rehab skanks getting sex therapy for

the last few months. I need something real.

Johnny  Oh yeah?

Billy   Who's been hanging round the house? The usual mattress cover?

Johnny  Some old faces, some new ones.

Billy   I ain't interested in their faces. You're the one who gets emotionally

attached, J, not me. Well, not to women at least.

Johnny  Just bikes and drugs then?

Billy   Bikes and brothers, Johnny. Bikes and brothers. I ain't attached to no

drugs, man. They're attached to me, clingy bastards.

<reach The Lost MC>

Johnny  I bet you're happy to see this place, man.


[They cheer as they enter the club.]

Billy   It is good to be back my brothers!

Clay    Hoo-ha! Line 'em up, motherfuckers!

Johnny  Line 'em up, my brother... yes, sir!

Billy   Johnny, what's going on?

Johnny  Not much, Bill. Usual stuff.

Brian   We missed you, Bill.

Billy   So, aching for a fucking drink here.

Brian   Just pour, Willy Wetbacks.

Billy   Salut, motherfucker.

Brian   To wet pussy and dry tequila.

[They drink.]

Billy   Yummy. So, Johnny boy. Where's my bike?

Johnny  You know where it is.

Billy   Let me rephrase the question - where the fuck is my bike, and why the

fuck haven't you gotten it back for me?

Johnny  Because you know where it is.

Billy   Are you deaf? Give me that whisky. Are you fucking deaf?

Johnny  No.

Billy   Then answer the God damn question. Why the fuck haven't you gotten it

back for me, friend-brother?

Johnny  One word: business. Like I told you when you were in there, or were you

so busy playing holier-than-thou you started believing your own


Billy   Oh forgive me. You know, I've had a complicated few weeks.

Brian   I can only imagine, Bill.

Billy   You know, coming off heroine's kinda hard. I think I acquired a touch

of amnesia. What business is more important, mister 1980s yuppie big

shot, than your best friend's bike, when he's close to getting a

fifteen year stretch?

Johnny  The business that pays his lawyers fees. The business that puts food on

all of our tables. The business that we are all in, while you're out

pretending to be saved.

Billy   Get my bike!

Johnny  What am I? Your fucking dog?

Brian   I told you we should have gotten his bike.

Johnny  You told me? You told me? You don't tell me shit, you little fuck.

Listen, Billy, they were pissed and they had a reason. Your bike

chopped that girl's leg off. You put Joe Jon's nephew in a coma. The

Deadbeats kept the bike. We needed the money.

Billy   You needed some balls. Some fuckin' heart. Something. I can't believe

I'm hearing this shit.

Brian   Yeah.

Johnny  And I can't believe I'm hearing this - after everything we did for you.

Paid your rehab, paid your lawyers fees, paid your rent, paid

everything, shit, we set stuff up for you. We do well, man, but it's

time to be smart.

Billy   You're right, you're right, no you're right... You know what I'm gonna

do? I'm gonna run right out and buy a condo. Get a mortgage, 401(k).

Then fold that over into an IRA and a CD. [laughing with Brian] What

the fuck, man? Be smart? You be smart you fucking chump, you're

ridiculous. Have you got a healthcare plan?

Jim     Come on Johnny. Let's just get his bike. Come on.

Johnny  Well on your head be it.

Billy   It always is. It's called leadership. Shit meaning something.

Johnny  Yeah and your shit means a lot, man. C'mon. [walking away]

Billy   Johnny.

Johnny  Yeah?

Billy   Wait, c'mere. Listen, man. I'm a little pent up right now. You saw that

shit I had to go through, right? It was really frustrating. Fucked up

shit. Craziness, right? Okay, so I'm a little pissed off and I've been

a bit of a prick lately, but come on man. You and Angus built that bike

for me. That's gotta stand for something.

Johnny  Yeah you're right, brother. I'm gonna go get it. And you know what?

Peace and prosperity be damned.

Billy   Peace and prosperity be damned, my brother. You are my brother, Johnny.


Johnny  [walking off] Let's go!

<begin drive>

Billy   Brothers, I couldn't let you run this errand without me. You might fuck

it up. Brothers aren't meant to be this close, Johnny. But we're gonna

have to be until I get my bike back.

Jim     Let's hope Pretty Boy still knows where this thing is. Guantanamo

Avenue, boys.

<driving - going to Guantanamo Avenue - A>

Billy   Look at me, manage to avoid prison and I'm still ass to cock with a


Johnny  Yeah, well, I ain't too happy about it neither man - you wanna turn

around and go back to the clubhouse?

Billy   I'm happy about it alright, John boy. Fuck, after that therapy shit, a

drink and the road is all I need.

Johnny  Good to know.

Billy   You been missing me all that time I spent sharing and caring in rehab?

Johnny  Let's get your bike and save the emotions for later.

Billy   You know what, Johnny? You could do with some of the trust exercises

they got in there. I'm going to blindfold you when we get back. All you

gotta do is fall over and trust that your brothers are going to catch

ya. Can you do that?

Johnny  You boys'll be too drunk to catch VD, let alone two hundred and thirty

pounds of rapidly approaching middle age.

Billy   Technically, you're two hundred and thirty pounds of Jewish biker, John

boy. Your faith has gotta come first.

Johnny  Religion, Billy. Religion. I gave up with faith.

Billy   Johnny the Jew, Klebitz the Heeb. Good to be here, man. Good to fucking

be here. What's your problem?

Johnny  Nothing, man.

Billy   I'm the leader of the chapter again, Johnny. And you're just another

brother. Can you handle it?

Johnny  Long as you run the chapter right we can all handle it.

Billy   I'll run it the way it needs to be run. Same as the three guys before

me did. Same as I'm doing now.

Johnny  Really? It feels kinda different. Before all we cared about was having

fun, the brothers, getting shit-faced, it's screw you, you get in our

way, you're gonna get your teeth kicked in.

Billy   Thank you for sharing! And now what's it feel like to you, Jonathan?

Johnny  It feels like knocking heads is a full time job and maybe if we stopped

doing it for a minute, we'd look around and realize that the fun ended

a long time ago.

Billy   Yeah? Well, I signed up to be a brother for life, you ungrateful fuck.

If you're in The Lost for the good times only, fair weather weekends in

the Carraways, then you ain't in The Lost. You get me?

Johnny  Chill out, man. I just hope when we decide to take a break, to slow

down, that it's still an option on the table.

<driving - going to Guantanamo Avenue - B>

Billy   How's Angus?

Johnny  Good, you know. You should go and see him.

Billy   Yeah, sure. I got a lot on my plate. I only just got out and look at

the state of shit around here.

Johnny  He'd appreciate if you made some time for him. He may be stuck in a

chair, but he's still a member of The Lost.

Billy   That guy, he's an exceptional human being, an example to us all. After

the accident, shit.

Johnny  Yeah.

Billy   I mean, he can't ride, he can't get any hole.

Johnny  I know what he can't do, Billy. He does too. Just go and fucking see

him, alright?

Billy   You're tense, Johnny. must have been stressful heading up the chapter

while I was away.

Johnny  It was fine.

Billy   Not everybody's shoulders are wide enough to bear the responsibility.

Are any of the brothers giving you shit? I'll have a talk to them,

don't worry.

Johnny  Things ran smoothly, Bill. You know, they ran real smooth when we were

concentrating on shifting drugs and not just putting them in our arms

and up our noses.

Billy   With a nose the size of yours there wouldn't be much blow for the other

brothers anyway, John boy.

Johnny  All I'm saying is we were cool. We took a break from saying "fuck you"

to everything and we made some deals that worked out.

Billy   Yeah, good for you Johnny. If you had so much fun why don't you go

start your own chapter?

Johnny  That's not what I meant, man.

Billy   Because this one, my chapter, isn't big enough to have two people

pulling it in different directions.

Johnny  I know, man. I'm loyal, but I ain't a drone, man. We should be able to

talk about shit.

Billy   You know, I've been here since I got out of juvie. I've seen men die

for their brothers and men rat their brothers out. And I know that this

gang don't mean shit if men don't follow their leader.

<reach Guantanamo Avenue>

Jim     This is the joint.


Jim     Pretty Boy.

PB      Hey.

Jim     Where's the bike?

PB      Oh, it's good to see you too, tough guys. Uhh... what bike are you

talking about exactly?

Johnny  You know what we're talking about.

Jim     Billy's bike.

PB      Billy's bike? Jesus, man, it's been a long time. I thought he was dead.

What's he want it for? To sell it for crack, right, eh?

Jim     Shut up.

PB      Listen, you know how it is. Thing's passed hands, parts been changed

up. Hard to say if that chopper's even around anymore. Sorry, boys...

Billy   [walks in] You will be, my friend. You will be.

PB      Hey, good to see you, Bill! Man, I thought you was dead...

Billy   Jim, start up the bike.

[Jim starts the bike, Johnny holds Pretty Boy's face down to the tire.]

PB      Whoa, hold on... Wait please, please... no, nooo...

Billy   Where - is - my bike?

Johnny  Speak, you ugly fuck!

PB      Ah, okay listen... ah, the Angels of Death took it to their place in


Billy   Motherfucking Angels of Death.

PB      That's all I know... please!

Johnny  Thank you.

Billy   Yes, thank you.

[Billy smashes Pretty Boy in the face as they leave.]

<begin drive>

Jim     Okay, now all we gotta do is pick up the bike.

<driving - going to the AOD hangout - A>

Johnny  You didn't have to do that. He told you who had the bike.

Billy   You really have gone soft, haven't you Johnny? You know, you could do

with a stretch in the joint, might harden you up.

Johnny  Whatever.

Billy   What about an eye for an eye and all that shit? You shoulda been the

one to make that guy pay for holding out.

Johnny  Enough with that shit. We got more things to worry about than respect

and stupid kids' stuff. We got to keep business afloat or we're fucked.

Billy   You just don't get it, do you? This is what it's about. This. Not that

money shit. We're in it to stick it to all those yuppies and hippies

and motherfucking Deadbeats. Give me a stiff drink, some hard drugs,

the road and my chopper. That's all I need. Maybe an occasional bit of

the hole. Wouldn't be a man if I didn't need that now, would I? How's

Ashley, by the way? She single?

Johnny  What about your brothers, man? Ain't you in it for The Lost?

Billy   Everything I do is about The Lost. I don't exist without my brothers -

without you. If you don't get that, then you don't get nothing, John

boy. Sad state of affairs.

Johnny  Yeah, well, it's some tough love you're showing them.

<driving - going to the AOD hangout - B>

Johnny  Poor fuck. I don't think he's got any nose left.

Billy   Well yours is plenty big, my compassionate friend. You should donate

some. To the cause.

Johnny  Shit, you know best, Bill, you're the leader. You make these decisions,

I'll just taxi you around on your little welcome back tour. There any

more side trips you want to make on your way to the Deadbeats?

Billy   No, I just want my bike back, that's what this is all about.

Johnny  Good.

Billy   But Johnny, you need to quit your bitching and moaning.

Johnny  I'm not gonna quit telling you when you're being an asshole. Being a

leader doesn't make you right.

Billy   You haven't always got the information, brother. So shut up and behave.

Your ego is getting you into trouble, my friend.

Johnny  It used to be all you need to worry about was waking up with some

bruises. Maybe a broken rib and a hangover.

Billy   Don't forget about the ugly broads you'd take home.

Johnny  Now, Pretty Boy's waking up without a face. That's not gonna go back to

normal. Angus lost his legs for life.

Billy   You're out of line, Johnny. You're out of line.

<reach AOD hangout>

Jim     We're here.

Johnny  Let's get your bike then.

<The Lost have a brief shootout against some AOD bikers.>

Billy   There she is, my baby. I think we earned us a drink, follow me.

Johnny  We're all behind you, Billy. Lead on.

<driving - returning to The Lost MC - Clay dialogue>

Clay    Looks like Billy's back getting this old gang into deep shit.

Johnny  That's a President's job, ain't it, Clay? Same with a motorcycle club

or a whole country.

Clay    Who knows, man? I leave the politicking to you boys.

<driving - returning to The Lost MC - Jim dialogue>

Jim     Billy got his bike back. He'll be cool now.

Johnny  Yeah, Jim? Something tells me fucking up Pretty Boy and killing them

Deadbeats ain't enough for him.

Jim     Maybe. Let's just say I'm not gonna share today's events with Jackie

and the kid.

<driving - returning to The Lost MC - Jason dialogue>

Johnny  Jason, I haven't seen you around much, man.

Jason   Yeah, I been fucking this Russian bitch in Broker. Gets her psycho

daddy real mad.

Johnny  He gives you trouble, he'll have to start worrying about the whole

chapter. Tell him that. Then we'll see how psycho he is.

<driving - returning to The Lost MC - Terry dialogue>

Terry   What's Ashley gonna do now that Billy's back?

Johnny  Fuck me Terry. That's her call. It's a free country.

Terry   I don't know where you've been living, pal. Us brothers are the only

free people I see.

<driving - returning to The Lost MC - Billy dialogue - A>

Johnny  Hey, Billy! How's it feel to be on the old bike, man?

Billy   Like when your wife is screwing the neighbor. I'm gonna be up all night

tuning her back to normal.

Johnny  You're gonna be up all night fucking and getting high. The bike'll wait

til morning.

<driving - returning to The Lost MC - Billy dialogue - B>

Billy   You like being back in line? Wouldn't want you getting too used to

thinking for yourself.

Johnny:  Yeah, Bill? At least I twisted the wick when I had the brothers behind me, old man.

Billy: I'll twist your wick, Johnny. Twist the little thing right off your body.


Johnny  Okay, Bill. You got your bike. Take what you gotta take, drink what you

gotta drink, fuck what you gotta fuck. I don't care, kill who you gotta

kill. But get it out of your system.

Billy   Mmm.

Johnny  And when you do, give me a call and we'll get back to business.

Billy   You're not my PO, brother. Remember who the head of this chapter is.

Johnny  I do, man... trust me.

Billy   Tell me, do you still have Ashley's phone number? Why don't you give

her a call for me? Tell her I'm inside, getting all sorts of fucked up.

And that I would really like some, I mean we, meaning all of us, would

love some hole.

<phonecall to Angus - optional>

Angus   Johnny, my brother.

Johnny  Hey, Angus. You seen much of Billy yet?

Angus   I seen him, yeah. Not much though.

Johnny  Well, dude, what do you think? Is he on top of his shit or is he gonna

run this club into a hole?

Angus   He's gonna run himself into a hole, I know that. Shit, Billy doesn't

really talk to me. I mean he'd hardly make eye contact since I got


Johnny  That's because you're way down in your chair, Angus, and it's hard to

see ya.

Angus   Ha ha ha. That'd be a damn sight funnier if I didn't think it was true,

John. Billy doesn't see anything that he don't wanna. He'll see

anything within smoking, fucking, and drinking proximity, but he won't

see the two ton truck bearing down on him.

Johnny  I get you, man. Later on.

<phonecall to Ashley - optional>

Ashley  Johnny. Thought you'd never call.

Johnny  Yeah, we haven't seen one another in a long time.

Ashley  I just see you in my dreams, sugar.

Johnny  Come on, Ash, give it up. You seriously got time to dream inbetween

your three-day ice binges?

Ashley  What's up, Johnny? How you like having Billy back?

Johnny  I like it fine. Look, I got to go. Take care of yourself.

<email> <unsure>

Some day

Hey boy,

Man, I fucked things up. I know I did. But you weren't a saint. You weren't.

You're who you are, and you do bad shit, and hanging out with you made me do

bad shit, even though it ain't your fault. But I did bad shit to you, because

you were my world. I thought you would kill me and you didn't, so that makes

you a better person than some. I'm so glad we're friends now, it makes me happy

to know you're on my side and even though we ain't together and we both fucked

this thing up, we are at least friends. I'm off the drugs, Johnny boy. I'm off

them. I don't want to get high no more. Not ever. I'm sorting myself out. I'm

going to go to college or something. Give back. I miss you. It won't never be

the same without you, but it's the way it's got to be. I know that, we both did

bad shit and we hurt each other and people who love each other ain't meant to

hurt each other.

Your friend,


<email - positive reply>

Ash. Ain't much point going over shit again. Whole world we live in is fucked

up and we belong in that world. Things weren't meant to be, and I don't seem to

be the family man type. I'm your friend, nothing more. Not ever. I can't watch

you do any more drugs. Good luck staying clean this time. Johnny.

<email - negative reply>

I ain't in the mood for internet chit chat. Have a nice life. Johnny.


B.G. out


So, They Let Him Out? Ridiculous In Some Ways. Man, It's Tough. I Love My Brothers, All Of Them, But There's Brothers Who Stood By Me, (you, Jimy, Clay and a few others) and brothers who said they would, and I think we know which camp Billy and Brian fall into. This is my life now. I can't ride into the sunset. I can't ride into anything. I'm stuck in a chair and I need money. I need it so we have to keep making it. It's tough. I hope Billy don't fuck it up for all of us. He nearly did last time. We are a small crew. We can't beat the Deadbeats, but we can live alongside them. Billy will come out and go on a rampage. And Brian and those other clowns will drag us along. It ain't going to

be good. It's just a question of how bad. Ride safe, Angus

<email - positive reply>

I Hear You, Brother. Whatever Happens, You Know Me & You Are Brothers. Johnny.

<Email - Negative Reply>

Let's Give Him A Chance, Man. Brothers For Life. No Matter What. Johnny.

Angels In America

<cutscene - at The Lost MC>

Billy: Little dorky gas station attendant boy goes "Hey man! Are you alright" And I go "Yeah dude! How's my bike?"

[Everyone laughs. Johnny walks in.]

Billy: Hey! Johnny K.

Girl: Hey Johnny, how you doin' baby?

[Johnny shoves her away.]

Girl Hey, what the fuck?

Billy Ooh, stop, domestic violence.

Johnny Hey man, you having fun over there?

Billy Absolutely. And if I get tested, I have a bag of twelve year old's piss right here. I am clean.

Johnny  Real nice.

Billy   Oh fuck you, Johnny. You don't judge me!

Johnny  Whoaa! Calm down, man. Have another drink or somethin' but calm the

        fuck down.

Billy: Oh fuck you, faggot.

Johnny: Yeah? Really?

Jason: [runs in] Guys, guys. Billy, Johnny. We got a couple of fuckin' Deadbeats outside.

Johnny: Deadbeats? What the hell are they doing here?

Billy: What the fuck do they want? I'm out of rehab three minutes, and they think they can crash my party? Come on.

Johnny  Let's do what we got to do.

[They head outside.]

Billy   Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Why the long faces? Might I tempt you in a swift

        libation, my most trusted and honored guests?

AOD     I thought we had a truce going on.

Billy   Did you? Funny thing - I wasn't aware. But, let me tell you, it's a

        strange kind of truce that makes you think it's okay to gatecrash my

        party, Deadbeat motherfucker.

AOD: I'm sorry. You enjoy your little party. I take it, the good times are over. No problem, old man. [flips him off]

Billy: Screw you, you Deadbeat prick. [shoots him] Think you can come to my party and gatecrash? Come on!

Jason Yeah, come on!

Johnny  Aah, you moron! 

<The Lost chase down the Angels of Death trying to escape.>

<phonecall from Billy>

Billy:   Johnny, man, you let those Deadbeats tell their buddies a war's on?

Johnny:  No, I stopped 'em. We don't need more brothers dyin' over this.

Billy:   Sensible Johnny K. Come meet us over on Grummer Road, brother.

<cutscene - in the parking lot off Grummer Road>

Billy   Whoo. Disaster averted, brother.

Jason   Yeah!

Johnny  You coming back?

Jason   I'd love to man, but I'm seeing this hot Russian broad over on Firefly Island. Gonna drink her daddy's expensive vodka and fuck her under the pier.

Johnny  Ooh - young love in the modern world.

Jason   Yeah!

Johnny  That's beautiful.

Billy   These Deadbeats won't be screwing around with us anymore. Let the good times roll.

It's War

<cutscene - at The Lost MC>

Dave    They was mad but, see, there was only two of them.

Billy   Were mad, Dave. Were. Not was. You should know that. No, you'd a been

        okay, because you are a...

Dave    Because I am a lawyer.

Billy   Yes. And during the week, you cover up those nice, gnarly tattoos with

        a grey flannel suit and make a nice, steady income.

Dave    Oh man. Tom Stubbs would love hanging out with you boys. Hey may be a

        politician, he may be a politician, but he ain't no square.

Billy   Smoke, Dave?

Dave    Oh, hell yes. [bong]

Billy   I put some mescaline in with the weed, Dave, so I'd be very careful if

        I were you. [laughing] You could be tripping for days.

Dave    I can handle it.

Billy   Oh yeah, I fucking love you, man.

[Johnny walks over.]

Billy   Johnny, look at this guy. This is Dave - Dave Grossman - by day, top

        lawyer at Shysters, by night, a knight of the road, battling the very

        corporate forces he represents. Say, Dave, are you a bi-sexual?

Dave    Very funny.

Billy   I didn't think so, I guessed you just liked cock. Jonathon - bong hit?

Johnny  No. Hey Dave, forgive me, man - would you fuck off for a second? I got

        to talk to Billy. Please, Dave. Up, Dave.

[Dave walks off.]

Billy   You look serious.

Johnny  What's next, man? A documentary team in here? You going to write your

        autobiography or something?

Billy   He's cool - he's a lawyer - he can help us with shit.

Johnny  He looks like an asshole.

Billy   And right now I think he's tripping his face off...

Johnny  Whatever.

Billy   Look dude, you and me, shit seems kind of tense lately, doesn't it?

        It's kind of lame. Have I offended you in some way?

Johnny  No.

Billy   Then what do you say we put all this shit behind us? And have some fun?

        [progressively louder] Because life is pain, brother. And through this

        life, through this brotherhood, we can give the pain the finger.

Jim     Yeah, fuck the pain!

Johnny  Yeah, yeah, you're right man. Fuck it.

Billy   [pressing buttons on his phone] Yeah, yeah, are you fucking kidding

        me?... Where?... [shouting] Alright, all of you, let's go. Let's go!

        Our boys are getting jumped.

<begin drive>

Billy   The Deadbeats are shit kicking the brothers. Stick with me.

<driving - following Billy to Acter Industrial - Brian dialogue - A>

Johnny  Brian, Brian, are you sure you want to be here? I mean, this is a man's

        job after all.

Brian   No, Johnny, nope. You're the fucking pussy, man.

Johnny  Shit, I can't hear you, big man. It's the wind. Speak up next time.

<driving - following Billy to Acter Industrial - Brian dialogue - B>

Brian   So are you gonna fight alongside your brothers or are you going to join

        the Deadbeats?

Johnny  As much as I'd like to kick your ass, Brian, I could never go against a


Brian   Yeah, not to his face at least. I bet you'd stab him in the back,


<driving - following Billy to Acter Industrial - Billy dialogue - A>

Billy   See Johnny? I told you this true meant nothing.

Johnny  You're the one who wiped his ass on the truce to start with.

Billy   Pre-emptive strike, my brother. And fuck me if it wasn't the right


<driving - following Billy to Acter Industrial - Billy dialogue - B>

Billy   You like Mr. David Grossman then, Johnny? He's got some business

        contacts that'll appeal to your newly-minted business mind.

Johnny  You talk and talk about sticking it to the man and then you hang out

        with a lawyer? You must be an American, man - you understand hypocrisy

        so damn well.

Billy   I'm a complicated individual and I've got serious authority issues. Ask

        my councilor!

<The Lost battle the Angels of Death in an abandoned trainyard.>

Billy   More Deadbeats on the funeral pyre. Get on your choppers.

Johnny  Fuck, dude. You lost your fuckin' mind.

Billy   We're moving out, Johnny. Let's go. Word is there's another skirmish.

        Come on.

<driving - following Billy to the next battle - Brian dialogue - A>

Brian   Bill did good back there. You could learn a lot from watching him


Johnny  Yeah, I need to do some learning. Mind if I practice on you, Brian?

Brian   Wouldn't want to hurt you. I don't hit women.

<driving - following Billy to the next battle - Brian dialogue - B>

Johnny  Man, the Deadbeats seem real annoyed. If I was you, I'd be scared

        they'd attack me in the street.

Brian   They're not going to mess with me while I'm with Bill, ha ha. No one

        fucks with Bill.

Johnny  Good thing you're glued to him, then.

<They battle again at an abandoned processing facility.>

Billy   Saddle up, brothers. These fucks are dead.


Billy   Brothers... Brothers, come on in, gather round.

Brian   Hey.

Billy   Chill out. Brothers, I just got word that Jason's been killed up in


Johnny  Aw, man.

Billy   He was banging some Russian broad and her heavy duty father didn't much

        like it.

Brian   He hired a fucking Polack to do it.

Billy   I think he was a Serb, Brian.

Brian   Fucking Slav scumbag all the fucking same.

Billy   Shut the fuck up. Brothers, we will find a way to get payback against

        this Polish/Russian/Serb - I don't really give a shit. In the meantime,

        let's take a moment to remember Jason and all the other men who've

        given the finger to this shitty little thing that we call conformity.

Brian   Amen, Billy.

Johnny  Got that right.

Billy   Now, Jason was, he was just a kid, but he hit the throttle harder than

        most of us, huh? He was a law breaker, trouble maker, a beer drinker

        and hell-raiser. He didn't suffer fools, he got any piece of hole he

        wanted, he always had time for a brother in need, and he was scared of

        precisely jack shit.

Johnny  Right.

Billy   In short - the kind of man I'd want to be. Jason Michaels - lost but

        not forgotten.

Brian   Amen to that, Billy.

Johnny  Jason.

[They drink.]

Billy   Okay boys, the time for pussy licking ass kicking is over. We are

        brothers for life, Lost forever. In these perilous times it's more

        important than ever that you follow your leader. And this is me,

        remember. See you boys back at the clubhouse.


<cutscene - at The Lost MC>

Billy   So where did you get them from?

Ray     Oh, y'know from a little contact I have who really wants you to cut me

        out of the loop... Where'd the hell I get it? What is wrong with you?

        All kind of shit it out there, Billy, all you gotta do is grab it.

Billy   And that makes you what? A, uhh, shit grabber?

Ray     Huh! Shit grabber. Wow! See, I like how you did that - it was very

        good, very clever. Almost like a joke, y'know, only it wasn't funny.

[Johnny walks in.]

Billy   Johnny - have you met Ray?

Johnny  Hey.

Billy   Ray Boccino. Hey, my brother. Johnny. Johnny the Jew.

Ray     Johnny the Jew - how the hell are you? Do me a favor - help keep this

        degenerate out of jail, alright, at least until he's paid me.

Johnny  I'll do my best.

Ray     Yeah, later. [exits]

Johnny  What's he sellin' ya?

Billy   Toys, my boy. Toys. Now come on, let's go.

Brian   Man, where we going, Bill?

Billy   Pay somebody a visit.

Johnny  Billy, man, please don't be a dick.

Billy   Johnny, you seem a little tense lately. Have you considered some

        analysis? Maybe a day spa? High colonic?

Brian   [laughing] Colonic!

<begin drive>

Billy   Follow the leader, assholes.

<driving - following Billy to the AOD clubhouse - Billy dialogue - A>

Johnny  Still lifting weights, Billy?

Billy   I don't need to now that I'm carrying your heavy ass around with me,


Johnny  I think you've got me confused with Brian. He's the one who's

        permanently suckered onto your ass.

<driving - following Billy to the AOD clubhouse - Billy dialogue - B>

Johnny  Billy, man. Just for once I'd like to know what the fuck we're doing

        before we do it.

Billy   Having delusions of grandeur, Klebitz?

Johnny  Shit, yeah, of course. Only the chapter president gets to know what's

        going on.

<driving - following Billy to the AOD clubhouse - Billy dialogue - C>

Johnny  So is this about kicking ass and feeling like big men or are

        gonna make some money?

Billy   The two of them are not always mutally exclusive, my brother.

Johnny  Really? Let's see.

<driving - following Billy to the AOD clubhouse - Brian dialogue - A>

Johnny  Brian, man. What you been doing lately. Sucking Billy's cock, I'm


Brian   I seen a video of Ashley fucking on the internet. You're a chump,


Johnny  I thought you only watched gay porn on the internet, Brian. You're into

        cock, right?

Brian   You think that's funny, asshole?

Johnny  Tell you what, send me a fucking link to that Ashley video. What do I

        care what she's up to? We're through.

<driving - following Billy to the AOD clubhouse - Brian dialogue - B>

Johnny  Brian, man, you ever done time?

Brian   Only people who do time are the ones that are dumb enough to get

        caught. Apart from Bill. He got unlucky.

Johnny  It's not luck, Brian. The man wants you he's gonna come find you no

        matter how smart you think you are.

<driving - following Billy to the AOD clubhouse - Brian dialogue - C>

Johnny  Don't you ever get tired of following Billy without know what's going


Brian   That's what you do with a leader, dumbass. Are you sad no one's

        following you, Johnny?

Johnny  I'd be nothing but embarassed to have you kissing my ass all day,


<driving - following Billy to the AOD clubhouse - Brian dialogue - D>

Johnny  You ready for this shit, Brian?

Brian   Fucking yes, bitches.

Johnny  Alright then, let's fucking do it.

<cutscene - at the AOD clubhouse>

Billy   Have I got a toy for you. [holding gun]

Johnny  Yeah, whatever Bill. Whaddya want?

Billy   What is this?

Johnny  What?

Billy   What the fuck is wrong with you, man?

Johnny  What are you talking about?

Billy   These Deadbeats are the ones who killed Jason in Broker.

Johnny  I thought it was a Pole or a Serb or something?

Billy   We got some bad information, brother. These are the guys. They killed

        that kid, and look at you, you're acting like you don't even give a

        shit. You sick or something, man?

Johnny  These Deadbeats killed Jason?

Billy   Yes they did. Now take one of these grenades and put it through their

        window. The Almighty forgives, Johnny. The Lost don't. [hands over gun]

Brian   Yeah, amen Johnny boy.

<Johnny lights up the upper floor of the clubhouse. After a brief shootout with

the AOD, Johnny heads inside to finish off the survivors.>

<cutscene - in the basement>

Billy   [laughing] The Deadbeats have got themselves on shit-load of heroin.

        Pack it up, Johnny. [indicating two bags]

Johnny  Wait, I don't understand... I thought this was payback for Jason, man,

        what the fuck is this?

Billy   Two million in arm candy's as good a payback as I can think of. Come on


Johnny  Jesus, hold your fucking horses, man. Now we're gonna steal their

        smack? Slow down.

Billy   Slown? Hold up, wait, ooohhhh. Jesus, physics lesson, fuckball. Do you

        know how motorcycles work?

Brian   You about to get schooled.

Billy   Centrifugal inertia. Meaning the quicker your wheels go, the more

        stable you are. The faster we go, the harder we hit it, the more us

        brothers pull together. That's why we do what we do, that's how we do

        what we do.

Brian   Why, how - they're the same fucking thing. We go faster, longer, and

        harder and that's how we stay together.

Billy   Brian. Shut up.

Johnny  What the fuck are you talking about? You gotta stop reading them shitty

        internet sites, man, and start thinking about what you're doing to us.

        We lift this shit right now and every Deadbeat on the east coast is

        gonna come after our chapter.

Billy   Well, that's something your leader will have to worry about. Not you,

        soldier. Brian, grab the shit. Let's clear out.

<text message from Jim - later on>

Ha ha. Johnny, I've sent you a link to the Deadbeats' website. Check it out!



Johnny man,

Check out this site, man. Fucking assholes! If ever you thought this war

weren't worth fighting.

Later man,


<email - positive reply>

Deadbeat pricks.

<email - negative reply>

Ain't you got better things to do than look around at shit like this on the

internet? Later, man.

Liberty City Choppers

<phonecall from Jim>

Johnny  Hey Jim, what's up?

Jim     Same old bullshit, Johnny. Can you come and meet me on Aspdin over in


Johnny  Alright, brother. I'll be there.

<cutscene - in a parking lot off Aspdin Drive>

Johnny  What's going on, Jim?

Jim     Hey, Johnny boy. You know the deal. If it ain't one load of bullshit,

        it's a God damn 'nother.

Johnny  Tell me about it. I'm coming close to really losing my shit here.

Jim     Well, you ain't gonna like what I'm about to do in the next few hours.

Johnny  What?

Jim     We gotta go steal some bikes from the Angels of Death.

Johnny  Ain't we a little too old for stealing bikes and clubhouse flags and

        crap like that? It don't help nothing.

Jim     Hey, I hear ya man. But these bikes are the real deal. Now, I got a guy

        who pays me for them then ships them over to Japan. Apparently they're

        gonna go crazy for these bikes in particular. Now business is business.

        And the Angels, they're the Angels. So do it for the memories.

Johnny  Okay. It's been a little a while since you and me been on a prank like

        this together, hasn't it?

Jim     Too right, brother, too right. Who knows, it might be fun.

<begin drive>

Jim     I'm point on this run. Let's go.

<driving - following Jim to the yard - A>

Jim     You been seeing much of Terry and Clay?

Johnny  Not really, as least not since Billy got back. Shit's been too crazy.

Jim     You should call them, man. They're still cool. Their heads are probably

        in the same kind of place as yours.

Johnny  Good to be riding just you and me, Jim.

Jim     Nice, man.

Johnny  Yeah, man. Fuck all that Billy shit. Let's go.

<driving - following Jim to the yard - B>

Johnny  This is what The Lost MC is about, Jim. Hell yeah.

Jim     Lost for life!

Johnny  Yeah, man. Come on. Feels good to be doing something like this. Not

        just breaking heads 'cause Billy feels like it.

Jim     Or standing 'round kicking tires and asking what the fucks gone wrong

        with the chapter.

Johnny  Absolutely. Got to keep active, brother. Keep on moving.

<get into truck>

Jim     They got these bikes at their place near Honkers. Drive us, will ya?

<driving - heading to the AOD bikes - A>

Johnny  Where'd you get the van, Jim? You ain't turned into some kind of

        trailer queen, have you?

Jim     Very funny, asshole. This shit belongs to my contact. If I wanted to

        take a bike of mine somewhere, I'd drive it myself.

Johnny  Yeah? Having an old lady and kid hasn't made you scared of getting


Jim     I was riding bikes before your momma rode your daddy, Jonathan. Jackie

        and the baby, yeah it's nice and all, and shit, I mean I love them and

        stuff, but I'm still a brother. Lost MC, man, forever.

Johnny  So if Billy asked you to do something that meant you wouldn't be able

        to look after them for some time or, or maybe not ever...?

Jim     Yeah Johnny, I take your point. I'd have to think long and hard on it,

        okay? But I think long and hard about what I'm gonna order at Burger

        Shot as well. I guess I'm the thinking type of maniac.

<driving - heading to the AOD bikes - B>

Johnny  Who's this contact then?

Jim     A guy Angus knows. They met at one of those bike shows.

Johnny  Yeah?

Jim     Shit. That guy knows more about tuning a bike than the rest of the

        brothers put together, but he's the one who can't ride one no more.

Johnny  Luck's a perverse thing, ain't it? How are Jackie and the kid? You

        haven't brought them to the house in a while.

Jim     Hey man, Jackie can handle herself but it ain't exactly a family

        friendly environment at the moment, is it? You know, when things calm


<reach the bikes>

Jim     It's time to stick it to 'em, Johnny.

Johnny  Let's do this.

Jim     Get the bikes, Johnny. I'll scan the horizon.

<Johnny gets a bike into the truck and the AOD begin to attack.>

Jim     Get the brothers on the wire, Johnny. We need us some help if we're

        gonna get home.

<phonecall to Terry>

Terry   Jonathan, whatever can I do for you?

Johnny  Well, you could save me and Jim's hides from some angry Deadbeats. We

        need your help.

Terry   Now, you know only a Chapter Head like Billy can ask for that kind of

        help. So don't go telling him we're coming to ya.

<With Clay and Terry's help, they kill the AOD and Johnny gets the bikes in the

truck. Johnny and Jim escape more AOD pursuers on their way back to the yard.>


Jim     I always get a kick outta sticking it to them pansies.

Johnny  Old habits die hard, brother.

Jim     Yup.

Johnny  Too bad times weren't always this easy...

[A cop car parks up.]

Jim     Oh shit.

Johnny  Be cool man.

Ed      Well, what do we have here?

Jimmy   Looks to me like a couple of mopes with some stolen bikes.

Johnny  These bikes are ours, Officer.

Jim     Nobody's gonna be reporting these bikes stolen, so give us a break.

Ed      Ah, looks like these mopes have outsmarted us, don't it?

Jimmy   Unbelievable. These inbred biker rednecks get smarter every year. Your

        parents musta been fuckin' brilliant siblings.

Johnny  Yeah, funny.

Ed      You think you're smart? How smart you gonna feel when we drag your old

        lady downtown, turn the cameras off and interrogate her real hard?

Jimmy   I bet she'll love it. She'll be begging us for another fucking

        interrogation in no fucking time. [knocks over their bikes]

Johnny  Aww...

Ed      Oh! We've been watching the Angels of Death, shitbirds.

Jimmy   That's right, we saw the whole thing you fucking jerk-offs. Case


Ed      And now you're gonna fucking pay us. Just like your daddy paid your

        momma for sex.

Jimmy   Skank bitch wouldn't even give her own brother a freebie. Think of a

        number, assholes. And it better be a big one and while you're at it,

        we're gonna be watching so you better behave yourselves boys.

Ed      Watch it there, slim.

Jimmy   Assholes.

[The cops drive off.]

Jim     Fucking cocksuckers. [resetting the bikes]

Johnny  Fucking pricks like those ones made me join The Lost in the first


Jim     I'm going to go back to the clubhouse, see who's around. Later, man.

Johnny  Later.

<phonecall from Terry - later on>

Terry   Johnny, it's Terry. Listen, bro, I heard there's a race going down and

        thought you might be interested?

Johnny  A race? Too fucking right. I'm in, man. I'll be there as soon as I can.

Terry   Sounds good, brother. See you soon.

Bad Cop Drop

<cutscene - in another lot off Aspdin Drive>

Johnny  Hey Jim, good to see ya man. What's the trouble?

Jim     Take a guess, bro. It might have something to do with those cops that

        pulled one over on us.

Johnny  I figured.

Jim     The way I see it we got two choices. Either, we buy a big tub of grease

        and prepare to take it from these fat pigs for the rest of our lives...

Johnny  Or?

Jim     Or, we head over to the clubhouse, close to where I happen to know they

        got themselves set up, and we show them that we're not quite the

        bitches they think we are.

Johnny  Well, tempted as I am by your first option, I'm gonna have to go with

        the second.

Jim     I figured you'd say that.

Johnny  Lead on, James.

<cutscene - near the clubhouse>

Jim     Wait here a minute. [walking over to the cop car] Hey, officers, how

        you doin'?

Jimmy   Hey McCornish, this fat perp's brought us a present.

Ed      You know, I forgot how stupid lookin' this guy was, Matthews. You think

        he's smart enough to realize that we got expensive tastes?

Jimmy   What you got for us, mope?

Jim     Ah, exactly what you asked for.

Jimmy   Well, alright-

[Jim punches him in the gut, then takes his coffee and throws it at Ed.]

Jim     There ya go!

[He runs back to his bike.]

<begin drive>

Jim     Make tracks to Trinity Road, John, come on. I got some brothers coming

        to meet us.

<driving - heading to the ambush location - A>

Johnny  You stole his donut and spilled his coffee. Real mature, man.

Jim     We don't want to piss 'em off too much. Not yet, at least.

<driving - heading to the ambush location - B>

Jim     That'll show 'em.

Johnny  Oh yeah. You messed with a dirty cop's donut. You're one badass biker.

<reach the ambush>

Jim     Here's as good a place as any.

<They kill the bent cops and the reinforcements they call in.>

Jim     We got lucky there, Johnny boy. I thought we'd be shovelling shit for

        those dudes 'til God knows when.

Luis    Now you know we ain't going out like that, Jim. I'll see you soon.

Buyer's Market

<text message from Billy>

Go see Liz Torres. She might be able to unload some of that shit we found. If

it's cool, you can collect from Brian

<phonecall to Billy - optional>

Johnny  Liz Torres, huh?

Billy   Liz Torres. Keep one eye open, Johnny. You heard the tales.

Johnny  I heard 'em alright, but we're cool. Girl does bring heat to a deal,

        Billy. Every cop in this town wants that bitch's head on his wall.

Billy   There's cops on wiretaps waiting to bust us, and there's monsters in

        the closet, and every chick in this town has got VD. Shit, Johnny, you

        spook too easy. Get it sold.

<cutscene - at Elizabeta's apartment>

Lizzy   Hey, hey, Johnny, the big bad biker man.

Johnny  Liz Torres, the meanest bitch in Bohan.

Lizzy   Come here, sweetie.

Johnny  Shit, I'd let you kiss me, but I'm afraid you'd stick a knife in my

        back while I was doin' it.

Lizzy   You wouldn't be the first man I'd tried that trick on, sweetie.

Johnny  Yeah, I heard the stories. Listen, I also heard you got somebody for

        that brown?

Lizzy   Maybe. There's an apartment on Cassidy Street in Schottler. You go

        upstairs and talk to Charlie on the third floor.

Johnny  There any heat?

Lizzy   When isn't there? I've got a new guy going along with you. He's from

        Eastern Europe somewheres. If the heat's coming from Charlie, use this

        Slavic motherfucker to help. But if it's him, you know what you gotta


Johnny  Well, either way it ain't coming back to you, Liz.

Lizzy   Ah, you know Playboy? He's going along, too. Hey Playboy!

Playboy [dancing on the other side of the room] Yo, chill for a second yo.

Johnny  Nah, not really.

Lizzy   Don't you wanna dance?

Johnny  Nah, I'll just sit right here and wait for your boy.

[He waits.]

Lizzy   [to Niko] Surround yourself with cocaine and the assholes soon follow.

        Hey, Johnny!

Johnny  Yo!

Lizzy   Come over here. Come here.

Johnny  Yeah!

Lizzy   Niko, this is Johnny. Now, Johnny is sitting on a big pile of heroin. I

        don't go near the stuff... professionally... but I found him a buyer.

        We're nervous. Will you oversee the deal and check everything is cool?

Niko    Sure.

Lizzy   Thank you.

Johnny  Well, I got to go pick up the stuff, so, uh, I'll see you there.

Lizzy   A'ight.

<cutscene - in an alleyway in Cerveza Heights>

Johnny  Gimme that shit, man. We got a buyer.

Brian   I don't know why Billy got you to handle this and not me. I mean,

        what's up with that, eh? I guess you Semites are good at sniffing out a

        deal, ain't that right, Johnny?

Johnny  He didn't get you because Liz Torres, and any other two-bit hustler on

        the street, would take you for the little pussy that you are and rob

        you blind. Now gimme that shit. [takes it] See you around, big guy.

<cutscene - at the apartment in Schottler>

Niko    Hey, you ready?

Johnny  Sure, let's do this. Nothing like selling some dope to let you know

        you're alive.

Niko    Let's go.

PB X    Yeah, let's do this.

Johnny  Alright, c'mon.

[They walk into the room.]

Charlie Hey... what's going on guys, what's going on?

Johnny  Not much. Let's do this.

Charlie You've got the heroin? Right? Right?

Johnny  Come on, let's do this, quickly.

Charlie But you've got the heroin, correct? You're carrying it, correct? I mean

        it's a simple question.

Johnny  What's wrong with you? You're being fucking weird.

Charlie Not weird, man. I just wanna know if you're carrying the stuff right?

Johnny  You ain't right, friend, come on... let's get out of here.

[Niko, Playboy, and Johnny run out as Charlie pulls out a gun.]

Charlie LCPD. Freeze motherfucker. I said freeze.

Johnny  Get the fuck outta here. I'll go down, you go up. Good luck.

<phonecall to Billy - after losing the cops>

Billy   So Johnny, are we rich?

Johnny  No Billy, we're not. What we are is under observation by some kind of

        LCPD drugs task force. The buyer was a pig.

Billy   Hell, Johnny, that's not kosher. I'll call you when another buyer's

        lined up.

Johnny  Sounds good.

Billy   We're moving up in the world, Johnny. There's a Congressman, needs your

        help, Tom Stubbs III. I told you keeping that lawyer around would have

        its uses. This guy's at one of them dumb ass gentlemen's clubs in

        Algonquin - the kind without tits - The Jousters.

Johnny  Politicians and lawyers? What are we becoming, man? Next thing you're

        gonna tell me we're doing some shit kicking for the LCPD.

Billy   It's just opposite the Libertonian. Go pay him a visit, if you're still

        thinking about your brothers and not just your own ego, that is.

<phonecall from Elizabeta - later on>

Johnny  Liz Torres.

Lizzy   It was good to see you, Johnny.

Johnny  Yeah, only problem was your friend the UC. He nearly blew my ass off.

Lizzy   Ha ha, ha ha.

Johnny  How's your fancy European friend working out?

Lizzy   Okay, okay. Seems like maybe he's the only guy in this city not working

        for the state.

Johnny  Him and The Lost MC. Me and the brothers are tight.

Lizzy   I hope so for your sake, Johnny, you know. Ha ha. See you soon, baby.

<phonecall from an unknown caller - later on>

Johnny  Hello.

Jones   Johnny Klebitz?

Johnny  Yeah. Who is this?

Jones   You tried to offload some smack to a colleague of mine called Charlie.

        Costly mistake.

Johnny  Who the fuck is this?

Jones   Agent Jones - FIB. We'd like you to come in for a talk. Things might be

        easier for you if you give us some information on your motorcycle club.

Johnny  Fuck you, fed. This conversation's over. If you got any evidence on me,

        get a warrant.


<cutscene - at The Jousters>

Leavis  Do you have an appointment?

Johnny  Uhh... no, I thought I'd inquire about a membership.

Leavis  Excuse me?

Johnny  Uhh, yeah, under this ravaged, drug-addled exterior lies the heart of a

        reactionary prick, so I thought I'd fit right in here.

Leavis  I think you should leave, sir, before I call the police.

Johnny  "I think you should leave, sir, before I..." Dude, it's the twenty-

        first century. Let me tell you something... You've got a job wiping

        rich pricks' asses, and for some reason you seem a little pleased with


Leavis  Will you leave?

Johnny  Trust me, man, nothing would please me more, but I'm supposed to see

        Tom Stubbs and, well, he said to meet him here.

Leavis  Oh, Mr. Stubbs, sir. Okay, you only had to say so, sir. Follow me, will

        you. Mr. Stubbs is in the day spa, receiving some back work.

Johnny  Right you are.

[They head into the back where Stubbs is getting a massage.]

Leavis  Mr. Stubbs. A gentleman for you.

Stubbs  Thank you, Leavis... And thank you.

[Leavis leaves.]

Stubbs  So you're David Grossman's friend?

Johnny  Oh yeah, we're old, old buddies.

Stubbs  Love the old boy network.

Johnny  Yeah, I can imagine. So what is it that you want?

Stubbs  Can you excuse us, sugar?

Sugar   Okay, sure.

Stubbs  And thank you, best massage I ever had that didn't involve a happy

        ending or a poignant sense of guilt afterwards.

Sugar   See you tomorrow.

[Stubbs gets to his feet, completely in the nude.]

Stubbs  Tom Stubbs. How do you do?

Johnny  Well, now that you mention it... I'm starting to feel a little queasy.

Stubbs  Don't be pathetic, and no secrets here, pal. Now, listen, I'm in a bit

        of a bother, sport.

Johnny  Well, I think they can fix that with surgery these days, you know.

Stubbs  Can we stop with the jokes? Grossman tells me you're reliable.

Johnny  Grossman? That guy's an asshole.

Stubbs  Look, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by pretending to be a

        good guy. I'm a politician. I'm a cynic. I'm very needy. I need people

        to like me. I need people to like me so that they elect me. I need

        people to elect me so that I feel marginally less bad about myself when

        I stare into the mirror. That being said, I try to do a good deed here

        and there.

Johnny  Democracy's a beautiful thing.

Stubbs  Personally, I'd prefer a benign dictatorship without the pretense of

        choice, but let's leave the political discussions, shall we?

Johnny  Yes, let's.

Stubbs  Unfortunately, an awful man has insured that my chance of being re-

        elected is pretty much zero.

Johnny  Why? Blackmail?

Stubbs  Not exactly. I need his money, and he hasn't died.

Johnny  What? You want me to kill your father?

Stubbs  No, that's disgusting. How could you suggest such a thing? My father

        died years ago, thank God. No, my uncle. That sanctimonious do-gooder

        controls the family trust.

Johnny  Whoa, that's heavy, man.

Stubbs  Yes, so is being arrested for drug-running and spending the next thirty

        years in prison. You and your little gang, I mean.

Johnny  I see. You make a wonderful politician.

Stubbs  I know. Now, you've got to get the old goat today. Make it spectacular.

        Make it appear as though it's a terrorist act - that'll do wonders for

        my campaign in all sorts of ways. Leavis will give you a package on

        the way out. Oh, and Klebitz, trust me... I am what I am, but I look

        out for those who help me.

Johnny  A blackmailer with a conscience, beautiful.

<text message from Stubbs>

Something about faked terrorist acts gets me all excited, Klebitz. You can

either take out the chopper as it lands or deal with the convoy as it makes its

way out of the airport. By the way, I've got a man at the Southwest gate who

can help you if you get locked into the runway area. - TS III

<text message from Stubbs - after killing his uncle>

My sources tell me you've been locked inside the airport. There's a man at the

Southwest gate who can attack it for you. - TS III

<phonecall to Stubbs - after escaping the cops>

Stubbs  Okay, Klebitz. Give me the good news. I'm just about happy with the

        eulogy my researchers drafted up.

Johnny  Sadly, Stubbs, I'm not going to be able to disappoint you. Your uncle

        is no longer with us. For my conscience's sake, I hope your lack of

        humanity is a genetic quality.

Stubbs  Ah, he was a man of the people, a philanthropist, a pompous windbag and

        an occasional catamite, a typical Stubbs you might say. Sleep easy and

        drop into the club sometime soon.

<phonecall from Jim - later on>

Jim     Johnny, it's Jim, you wanna roll on some Deadbeats?

Johnny  What a fantastic idea, James. I'll see you at yours.

Jim     Great, man. See you soon.

<phonecall from Jim - later on>

Johnny  Hello there, James. How ya doin'?

Jim     Getting through it, brother - just about. Listen, that guy we stole

        those Angels of Death bikes for, he's got a whole shoppin' list of

        bikes he wants. You interested in procuring them for him?

Johnny  As long as it ain't gonna get us in the shit any more dirty cops.

Jim     Them cops ain't around no more. Get Angus on the wire when you're ready

        to roll. He's got the details. So long, brother.

Off Route

<cutscene - at The Jousters>

Leavis  Ahh, Mr. Stubbs is expecting you.

Johnny  Hey, how ya doing, man?

Leavis  Oh yes, sir. Hello, sir. I'm fine.

Johnny  Good. Hey, let me ask you something... Do you really enjoy life?

Leavis  I don't really know what you mean, sir.

Johnny  I mean, does serving all these rich morons, you know... smell of money

        and all that stuff, you know, does that make you happy?

Leavis  Yes, sir, something like that. And tell me, sir, are you happy? I mean,

        has giving the man the, err, finger, really satisfied some inner urge

        within you, sir?

Johnny  Well, I think what I've learned is that there's always a man, dude. He

        just wears a different uniform.

Leavis  As you say, sir. Ah, Mr. Stubbs is in the steam room. Right this way.

[Leavis takes him in back to Stubbs.]

Stubbs  Klebitz! How ya doing, sport?

Johnny  Hey. I'm fully clothed in a steam room with a murdering politician,

        while my whole life falls to shit all around me. But fuck it, I'm

        alright. Miss your uncle?

Stubbs  Oh, I've doubled up on the therapy.

Johnny  Change your therapist.

Stubbs  Oh, but I've been seeing Dr. White since I was seven. The man's a


Johnny  Okay. What can I do for you, man? I'm not really dressed for this and

        you said it was urgent.

Stubbs  Yes, well, there's been a clerical error down in the deepest recesses

        of the Civic Citadel. A group of outstanding civlians, voters, have

        mistakenly been taking into LCPD custody.

Johnny  Well, isn't there something you can do about that yourself, man? Pull

        some strings or something?

Stubbs  No, I'm afraid not sport, way too far down the line for that. Too much

        red tape, yadda yadda yadda... No, all you need to know is that, uh,

        these gentlemen are in a prison transport bus, and you, my friend, need

        to liberate them.

Johnny  Sure, I got it.

Stubbs  The bus is at the Leftwood Police Station. Get them out of there and we

        will make it worth your while.

Johnny  Okay, I got it.

Stubbs  Don't sweat it, Klebitz.

<Johnny breaks into Leftwood Station and reaches the prison bus.>


[Johnny hops into the bus and knocks out the driver. One of the prisoners grabs

the other policeman aboard and pulls him to the floor.]

Johnny  Whoa.

Guy     You're the best tasting thing I've had since I got locked up.

Johnny  That's intense. Alright! Since we've all, uh, eaten, we've got a new

        destination, people.

[Johnny throws the driver out and takes the wheel.]

<escape the cops>

Johnny  Can you keep it down? In case you ain't noticed, I'm trying to keep you

        boys outta prison.

Guy 2   The rendezvous is by the Globe Oil plant in the Acter Industrial Park.

<driving - heading to the rendezvous - A>

Johnny  So, umm, what're you folks in for?

Guy     For these fellas it's white collar shenanigans. Caught with their hand

        in the cookie jar. My greed was of a... more corporeal nature.

Johnny  I'm gonna take that as meaning you were into some sick shit. Let's not

        discuss it.

Guy     As you wish, dear boy.

Johnny  I'm guessing it wasn't you I got paid to bail out anyways.

Guy     I doubt those who remember me think it a great idea that I am about to

        be roaming free again.

Johnny  Okey dokey then.

<driving - heading to the rendezvous - B>

Guy     So, you're a motorcyclist? What hardware do you grip between those

        thighs? A panhead, shovelhead, V-twin?

Johnny  You a bike man?

Guy     I'm familiar with mechanics. I believe it's man's duty to take things

        apart and see how they work.

Johnny  Sure.

Guy     You learn so much from seeing the insides of things. Cars, bikes... we

        are all machines.

Johnny  You got real problems, brothers.

Guy     And everything in your garden is rosey. How nice! I wager one could

        learn a lot about my fellow prisoners by seeing how they're wired.

Johnny  Learn all you like, just wait until I'm paid, mister.

<reach the rendezvous>

Guy     Thank you, sir. My fellow prisoners and I are most grateful. We've got

        a boat to catch. [singing as he leaves] Oh, I do like to be beside the

        seaside. Oh, I do like to be beside the sea. Oh, I do like to walk

        along the prom, prom, prom, where the brass bands play fidaly bum, bum,

        bum, bum.

Johnny  Bon voyage.

<phonecall to Stubbs>

Johnny  Your friends are out to sea, Mr. Stubbs. Good luck to them. I think

        they'll need it.

Stubbs  Oh, don't you worry, those boys don't need luck. You shoulda seen them

        in '73. Believe me, a short recession and a trip to Panama isn't going

        to finish those boys off. All traders by blood. Great genes.

Johnny  I was thinking their problem might lie with one of the other passengers

        on their little cruise. Later on, Mr. Congressman.

<phonecall from Stubbs - later on>

Stubbs  Ah, Johnny boy, how's it going out there?

Johnny  More shit storm than steam room, Congressman. We weren't all born into


Stubbs  No, some of us married into it. Ha ha ha.

Johnny  And some of us killed for it. You got any work for me, man?

Stubbs  Well, now that you mention it, there might be a few things that need to

        be handled discretely. Call me if you feel up to it, sport. Bye now.

Coming Down

This Shit's Cursed

Hit The Pipe

End Of Chapter

Bad Standing

Heavy Toll